I’ve been biking a bit again the last few days. The weather has been amazing in DC – sunny but temps have been around 65-75. Perfect. I’ve been using Capital Bikeshare for the last year and with all the nice weather have been riding the 4.7 miles home every day. Of course, all this has also got me back on my beloved Bianchi, seen here in it’s natural habitat, Jerry Chan’s.
Since I haven’t ridden the thing consistantly in a few years I’m putting some time and money into getting it presentable once again. Last week I got a helment and had the fine folks at BicycleSPACE DC to fix the headset. (I can’t recommend them enough – great people there.) Smaller bullhorns are on their way from Fyxation. I upgraded the pedals last year so I think I’m going to do her proper and get some decent cranks as well. I built her up pretty sloppy after the store since I had other bikes then, but that’s not the case for now. (Heh heh heh, for now.)
It’s been some time since I’ve updated the blog and visits are down to 10-20 a week – I feel anonymous again. I missed being able to post here without a mention of it in the day after. It could serve a purpose once again. Maybe I can speak publicly without anyone hearing – that was important to me at one time.
Lately I’ve been been slipping back into my old routines – during the week I spend my evenings online and the weekends are spent either online or out drinking. I’m definitely starting to feel a measure of loneliness creeping back into my life. As much as I love living in DC I miss the connection I had with my friends in New Orleans.
Ironic, but breaking up with with my most recent boyfriend has made me miss my previous ex even more. While dating A I completely avoided contact with B for fear of feelings resurfacing and now, spending time with B has made me quite sad. It’s tough to accept your feelings for someone will not be returned.
After a year has passed it’s more than obvious I should move on. My friends say I should cut contact altogether but really – that’s easier said than done. Especially when I don’t have that sense of connection with anyone else in the city. I just want to be friends but yet I constantly look for signs of more. Signs that never seem to materialize.
So, here I am, 3:31am and drunk, feeling sorry for myself and feeling even more stupid for doing so.