I haven’t been posting much here lately. Not because I haven’t had much to say, but more that I’ve just been overwhelmed lately and it’s been hard to sit down and formulate a cohesive entry. I’ll post more news when I know more.

Last week I went to the dermatologist to get some meds for my acne; I always break out badly when I’m under stress, especially when it’s hot as hell out like it’s been. While there I had him look at a lump that’s been on my back for a few years. It’s small and I’ve had it looked at a few years pre-katrina, but still.. it’s a lump the side of a small marble.. it’s a little disconcerting. After discussing it for a while, he felt I should have it removed, to be safe. My appointment is October 25th and I’m terrified. I think I’m more afraid of ‘surgery’ than I am of flying.

On a more important health note, I’ve recently found out that a good friend of mine is HIV+. While I’ve had (and still have) friends that are positive this is the first time I’ve known someone that wasn’t positive when i first met them. It’s quite a different perspective.

Shit, gotta get back to work. More later.

Being a ‘blogger’ I know I should be moved to post a long entry about how it’s been exactly two years since the windy/floody thing, punctuated with a few witty comments illustrating how so much has changed yet everything is the still the same, but I’ll spare you.

As I sit here at my desk typing this from work, filling out the final packet of paperwork for Mental Health assistance, the last thing I want to do is reflect on the last two years. While I’ve made many new friends whom I’ll cherish, friends were also lost to drug overdoses and suicide; friends of friends have been harassed, beaten and even worse, killed.

I can however, now say that I’m one degree of separation away from a woman who was eaten by her boyfriend.

For all the supposed ‘progress’ I’ve seen in a select few individuals’ situations, things are still looking grim for New Orleans as a collective. Our leadership on the local, state and federal levels continues to fall short and it’s business as usual for the criminals on the street and in office. We used to at least function as a community despite the bullshit that surrounded us, I’m not so sure that’s still the case.

I was unmotivated but content before the storm. I’m paralyzed with indecision after.

Happy two year anniversary.

Went out tonight for what seems like the first time in a few weeks. Normally going a couple of weeks without getting trashed isn’t much to blog home about, but this is New Orleans post Katrina – more than 36 straight hours without alcohol in your bloodstream is reason enough to call the medics.

Speaking of medics, someone fell off their barstool at the Pub and busted his head – there was a team of EMT at the bar somewhere between 1:30 and 2:00 but I couldn’t quite see who is was. I don’t remember the exact time but I tried to make note of it since I managed to slip in through the front door without paying a cover. Yeah, that’s shitty and opportunistic of me but whatever, I was too drunk to care by that time.

As usual, I was basically a leper in the bar – no one talked to me except R****. R**** has been introduced to be several times by a mutual friend and never remembers my name. R**** is older and would be considered good looking. He’s one of the men I see out all the time, always spending lots of time and money on much younger guys and always winds up leaving alone once they’re too drunk to follow. I find it irritating that guys like him will sit there enduring completely banal conversation to get in the pants of some kid that obviously wants nothing to do with them other than a few drink and a goodbye – and I’ll actually sit there trying to come up with an excuse to say hello only to be dismissed like some side show freak.

R**** said “Hey, you’re from Charlotte, right?”
“No,” I replied, “I’m from here. We were introduced a few times a while back. How have you been?”
“Been fine,” his eyes widen, in shock “I’ve got to head home OK?” then he goes and stands on the other end of the bar. Odd little man.

I saw my friends Craig and Joe out though, they’re good people and are usually get my spirits up when I’m out and in a mood like this. Very late in the evening (ok, every early in the morning,) while talking to Craig I commented on a cute guy that was standing behind us. I mustered the esteem to say hello, walked over and that it was J***, whom I was seeing briefly shortly before the storm and had a big crush on (i.e. guy in suspenders from this post.) It was nice to see him, but it was an awkward conversations because it’s pretty obvious on some level he dreads talking to me – for whatever reason. We both left after a few minutes and I felt like an idiot since I wanted to chase him out the bar again and ask him to call me – even though I know he wouldn’t.