Obligatory Chicago Post

Well, it’s taken me 3 days to find some sort of ‘net connection. I’m in the the Gray’s Lake Public Library in Illinois and I’m probably going to get kicked out since the computers are only allowed for research purposes. “No bulletin boards, news groups, or inappropriate sites” – whatever that means.

So far, the most interesting thing to happen to us is a guy with no thumbs asking us for a dollar. It’s very hard to be self righteous and flash the “Get a Job” stare when the man was born without the ability to … well, be classified as a primate.

Last night we went to a Cowboy Mouth show at the Taste of Lincoln Avenue festival. I’m glad to see that, even though they do the same thing night after night, show after show, it’s still hasn’t gotten old. I’m still just as impressed with the amount of sweat that Fred flicks into the audience as the first time I saw them at the Howling Wolf. The show has apparently ventured into Rocky Horror territory since the last time i saw them – the audience is throwing spoons and tootsie rolls at the band during certain parts of the show. I’m just waiting for “The Time Warp” and having Fred yell at us to get up and dance…. oh wait, he does that already. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve seen them (like.. three years?)… I’m going to have to catch them the next time they’re in town.

Well, I have a crowd of people around me waiting to look up pornography educational material so I better get going before the Library Nazi kicks me off. “30 minute limit! No net for you, two weeks!”

Remind me to tell you about this crazy woman that runs the trailer park camp ground we’re staying in.

It’s Been A While

My, how time flies. It’s been a while since I posted. I’m actually a year older… the big 2-8. hehe I wish I had tons to write about, but it’s been pretty slow in the life of Vincent. I had my birthday party a week early at Celebration Statio where I played hyper-violent video games with Marshall and Jason. I finally saw, for the first time, Dance USA or whatever that silly video game was. IF you’ve never seen it – run, don’t walk to your nearest video arcade and check it out. It’s like video line dancing for two. I was curious why 99% of the 20 people that were crowded around the game were asian. In between games it looked like Tiananmen Square as people scrambled to put their quarters on the machine.

Last weekend, I spent my birthday moving furniture and computers around Dan’s office and developing a nasty case of the shakes from a couple of glasses of banquet coffee. BTW, If there’s anything I’ve learned from my life and my mother, it’s that no matter how many times someone tells you they “don’t even like birthdays” they always like to hear those two little words.

The good news is… I’m going to Chicago tomorrow night. My brother, my nephew and I are driving up there to see my mom. I’ll be a big geek and try to post a “hello from Chicago” post or two. :)

Dan is hosting a VIP party for anyone who shows up (up to 20 people) at 360 tomorrow night (Friday) at 9:30. 2 free drinks for just showing up. I advise you to make it out there and say “Whazup!”

Yes… I am looking for someone to trade cars with. I have a 1991 Honda CRX in fair-good condition (CV Joints are going, no A/C, short in pass. side bright light,) and I am looking for a 60s/70s VW beetle.


Little. Yellow. Boot.

Caution This cart will stop suddenly if taken beyond the yellow line.

(The scene: Dan and I are leaving the new Albertson’s Grocery when we both spot the “Caution” sign above stuck to the inside of the shopping cart. Having the combined curiosity of a 6 year old we decide to figure out what exactly this sign means.)

Dan: Maybe it means the the yellow line on the sign; like it’s weight sensative?
Me: Hmm, maybe, but how do they know how much the stuff I buy weighs?

Dan tests his theory by standing on the front of the cart. I am still able to push it forward.

Me: Maybe it can sense if we take it out the parking lot? Is there a yellow line around it?
Dan: Nooooo, huh? We’ll test it after we unload the cart.

We unload the cart. As Dan pushes the cart toward the street we spot a sign near the exit:

Carts will stop suddenly if taken beyond the yellow line.

There is, in fact, a yellow line on the ground around the perimeter of the parking lot.

Dan and I: Noooooo waaaay

As we push the cart beyond the yellow line the metal cuffs around our necks explode a little yellow mini-boot spins around the front-right wheel batman-style, foiling evil-doers and the storage-seeking homeless alike.

These carts are self aware! Ahhhhh!

Also while we were in the store, we got some meat and cheese at the deli – and they gave us free samples of everything we asked about. Plus, as we were checking out – the bag-person mentioned to us that Grands biscuits were buy-one-get-one-free – then ran to the cooler to get us another one. How cool is that?

I advise you all to head over to the Albertsons on the corner of Tulane and Jeff Davis before it gets all assed up. If for no other reason than to see the shopping carts. :)

Norman @ Work

Oh how I wish I was making this up:

Norman: “Hey whiskers, I found these old pictures i took of this 5000.” (note: 5000 = Normanspeak for “hot chick”)
Me: (Looks at pictures and realizes they were taken without her knowledge.)
There are three pictures:

  1. Her walking to her car.
  2. Her walking away from her car, and
  3. Her driving away.

“Norman, were you stalking this poor woman!?”
Norman: “No I wasn’t, I just happened to know her schedule. Like when she came to work and left.”
Me: “That’s stalking! Norman, do you ever just stop for a minute and think to yourself “Wow… I am a friggin LUNATIC?”
Norman: “I’m not crazy, you are. Here’s a hand granade. POW! Gonna blow you up.”
Bystander: “Yes indeed!”

Sunday Night

Wow. It’s amazing the way time can fly by when you’re on vacation. The past four days have passed so fast, I can barely concieve how I did so much. Thursday me and Dan just chilled out around the house and stressed a little because our rent checks havn’t cleared so we’re thinkging we may have to pay like, a $300 late fee by the time pay day rolls around again. Friday I brought a tackle box back to Wal-Mart that I had bought to organize my computer cable situation. It was missing all of the little dividers that I needed to keep my screws in their rightful cubical within the lid. After getting the $18 from the Customer Harrassment Service desk I did what any broke person in my situation would have done: I went shopping at thrift stores. Two hours and $4.50 later I have two ties that I’ll never wear (but they look cool) and a $3 suit that doesn’t fit. (The pants fit, but the jacket is waaaaay too small)

I was bored and it killed time, so it’s all good.

Saturday we went to the film fest Jury where we watched entries in the animation and “experimental” category. Most were pretty horrible.

Today, we went to the film jury again and now we’re waiting for Julie to pick us up so we can help with her project for film class. I think she wants us to be in the movie. Oh wait, there she is.

I’ll fill you in on the exciting details when I return.

PS: Anyone want to trade a pre-72 Volkswagen beetle for my 1992 Honda CRX?