Norman @ Work

Oh how I wish I was making this up:

Norman: “Hey whiskers, I found these old pictures i took of this 5000.” (note: 5000 = Normanspeak for “hot chick”)
Me: (Looks at pictures and realizes they were taken without her knowledge.)
There are three pictures:

  1. Her walking to her car.
  2. Her walking away from her car, and
  3. Her driving away.

“Norman, were you stalking this poor woman!?”
Norman: “No I wasn’t, I just happened to know her schedule. Like when she came to work and left.”
Me: “That’s stalking! Norman, do you ever just stop for a minute and think to yourself “Wow… I am a friggin LUNATIC?”
Norman:
Me:
Bystanders:
Norman: “I’m not crazy, you are. Here’s a hand granade. POW! Gonna blow you up.”
Bystander: “Yes indeed!”