This is Vincent, he’s an Athiest

Scene: LSUHSC Copy Center. An unsuspecting Vincent enters the room to retrieve his color print outs. The room is already in heated coversation:

Bitter Old Religious Woman: Blah blah blahblah blah Mary Magdaline blah blahblah. Jesus blah blah the lord blahblah.
Ashton: Blah blahblah not true blahblah blah blah. Not an Athiest but blahblah blah.
Myself: Eh oh, this is not a discussion I want to be in here for.
Bitter Old Religious Woman: Why, don’t you know the lord loves you?
Cedric: This is Vincent, he’s a real true Athiest. He don’t believe in nothin!

Yeah, like I was some rare brightly colored frog with deadly oil that oozes through my pores and doesn’t believe in God.

Suddenly, the needle skipped off the record and the next thing I know it was 20 minutes later and there was 11 religious black women surrounding me. All I remember are bits:

Bitter Old Religious Woman: Don’t you know that Gawd created you to love him and to come back to him?
Myself: It sounds like god is codependant. There’s medication for that.

Bitter Old Religious Woman: You sound just like them Buddhists. Them with their 4-11 friends.
Myself: It was 9-11, not 4-11 and they were radical Islamics, not Buddhists. Do you know anything about Buddhism? Have you ever met a Buddhist?
Bitter Old Religious Woman: Heh, I don’t need to. Sick people! Buddhists and the Islamites. Those are your people, not mine!

Bitter Old Religious Woman: That’s the thing about you athiests. You don’t believe in nothin! Nothin from nothin leaves nothin! You rob, you shoot people, you kill! And you don’t care about nothin and no one!
Myself: Don’t you DARE tell me what I do and don’t believe. You don’t know me. You’ve never even met me and it’s obvious you don’t even want to know what it is I believe. I’ve tried to educated but I can’t deal with ignorance. I’m done. You are just ignorant.
Bitter Old Religious Woman: The lord still loves you.
Someone: Yes indeed!

Or something. I was even reading scripture to her at one point, crazy. It just turned into complete chaos as the 12 of us were fighting to talk over each other and eventually David had to come in and shut us all up. It was fun.