Ivan the Terrible. Not.

Well, Ivan barely grazed the New Orleans area. It’s pretty windy and that’s about it. No rain, no flooding, not a singlestreet turned into a toxic brew of raw sewage, gas and chemicals.

A big assed tree fell in Kay’s big yard and that was pretty scary. Oh, and then bees swarmed out the center of the tree, flew into my sister’s hair and she screamed so loud her neighbors in the NEXT BLOCK came by to see who was being disemboweled in the back yard. Unfortunately I didn’t see the whole thing because I paniced and ran in the bathroom as soon as I heard her say, at the top of her lungs, “FUCKING CHRIST, THEY’RE FLYING IN THE HOUSE!! MY HAIR!!! THEY’RE IN MY FUCKING HAIR!!!”

So yeah, that’s the way us Macalusos throw a hurricane party. Oreos, Mamosas, and swarms of bees.