Crazy… Crazy for feeling….

Am I completely crazy for being offended when I meet an out-of-towner and chat and hang out for 5 hours, in no way really looking to hook up – but the possibility was there – only to have him ditch me at Rawhide to go “pee”. I knew full well that, as a first timer, he had been delighted to find out what really happens in the “women’s” bathroom there. He returned 15 minutes later and made a joke about how he couldn’t pee with all those people “around him” and I joked in return. He said he was going to try again to pee, and again entered the darkness. After I finished my diet coke I walked back to pee myself and the room with the urinal was completely empty. I went back to the bartender and ordered another water. Another 20 minutes later I was done drinking and I saw him leave the “women’s bathroom” and stand in the back room – where people wait around and cruise for sex.. he had figured that out.

I walked up to him on my way out and told him I thought he was rude for leaving me to get a blowjob.

Am I insane to think that 5 hours of really fun conversation deems more than a “I’m going to the bathroom” dismissal?

I dunno. Common decency is becoming less and less common. A simple “I had fun, I think I’m gonna go in the back for a while. I hope to see you tomorrrow” would have been nice.

Maybe it’s just a soft spot for me.

Random drunken thoughts, 2am the night after my 32nd birthday

Yes, you knew it was coming.

I ate way too much much sushi at the Wasabi with my friends and drank way too much free birthday vodka at the bars by myself.

I almost called 911 to report a murder: someone had killed Thursday night. The French Quarter was a ghost town last night.

Of the few people that were out, there was two other people at The Pub celebrating birthdays. i.e. bitches trying to steal my thunder.

The more I go out the more reasons I come up with to jump this miserable ship of a city. It’s the same 100 pretentious Abercrombie and Bitch/Hollister wearing, twink starved suburbanites rotated around from night to night. The other bars are mostly hook-ups and leather types – fun for a while but eventually I want something more than dirty sheets and a ride home. The few times a hook-up lasts till the next morning remind me how much more I like sleeping with someone than “sleeping with someone.”

On the way home I listened to the 9 voicemails I received today; mostly happy birthday messages from family and friends.

It’s 40 minutes later and I just realised who didn’t leave one. I’m not surprised but I’m a little disappointed.

Random Sober Thoughts at 1:23 AM On A Monday.

I spoke with an ex the other night. We’re on civil terms and over any resentment but I still sense a bit of tension between us. Not quite thick enough to cut with a knife, but maybe a cool mist that can be felt on your cheek. I admit, it was nice to hear his voice. It was odd but reasuring to have him tell me he’s been reading my blog and I’m much too good to be turning into That Guy as I’m sure it reads like on here. I don’t think I’m becoming That Guy.

$DEITY, don’t let me become That Guy.

He pointed out, as he always has, that I need to stop making the emotional = the physical “as [I] always have. [I] just need to stop that.”

After a few days I’ve started to think about that. I think most of us know going into a relationship of anykind what the ratio of emotional/physical attraction is. One night stands are different than dates. I maintain that once you progress past the purely physical, the ratio should normalize. For some reason I’m attracted to guys that have issues expressing emotion, so I’m (not) very sorry if I have to read into the physical to get some sort of clue as to how you’re feeling.

Our actions define us and they are, many times, the way we express how we feel.

Just a few random thoughts brought forth by a random comment.

BTW, I finally able to track stand on my bike. Woohoo! (I can’t do it one handed. yet.)