It’s Friday Night and I’m at the Gayest Straight Bar in Metairie

The following story is true, although probably exagerated slightly for comedic effect.

I saw quite possibly the worse excuse for a high school football movie since .. well, some other really horrid high school football movie. Honestly, I don’t even know the full name of the film, but my ticket says “Gridiron G” on it. Gridiron Garbage is the closest thing I can come up with.

Anyway, after the movie Craig, Cheryl, Andy. and I go to BrepStrothers¹ – this sports bar where apparently there are some curious men looking for… well, you know.

So, Cheryl, Andy and I go in and sit at the bar and wait to order our drinks. I look over casually and this almost-cute guy is staring at me from down the bar. I give the “hello nod” and he gives me this drunken smile like I just licked his taint and went back to staring into his beer.

Ok, I think to myself.

the C.C and I caucus for a bit and out the corner of my eye I see a person sitting on the other end of the bar with the worst case of overplucked Drag Queen eyebrows EVAR.

Next, this kinda cute guy that looks like Robert Mercurio from Galactic walks behind Andy and I and TOTALLY CRUISES ME. Andy even says “Wow. Someone just look a tall drink of you.”

I turn to Andy and say… “This is the gayest straight bar in the world.”

Craig shows up a little later and we drank some more. Eventually all the gayness left the place as it got more and more packed and more and more Journey and Tone Loc was played by the DJ.

It was interesting though, that’s for sure.

¹ Names of places have been changed so Craig can still pick up straight tricks at the bar.