First of all, I want to say that I got to the bar at midnight, stayed until 2:30. During this time I had 2 white russians and 4 diet cokes; hardly enough to blame the fall on when I tripped over a broken sidewalk while walking to the Metro.

No, I wasn’t drunk, but you’d think I was squirting blood from an artery the way the kind folks at Kramerbooks rudely ordered me to leave the building when I stopped in to use the restroom (and to buy a book, honestly.. I was planning to stop there anyway.)

Cant a brother get a paper towel? Shit.

Me: Hi, I’m going to get something, I fell outside, can I use your….
Asshole Resturant Guy: GET OUT!
Me: Excuse me? Can I …
A.R.G.: YOUUUUUUU… are a health code VIOLATION!!! You need a band aid. GET OUT!
Me: Can I get a band aid then? I just need to use..
A.R.G.: You need to GET OUT!!!!! You are BLEEDING! GET OUT!!!!!
Me: But.. can I…
A.R.G.: GETTT OUTTTTT!!!!!!

I will be buying Dirty Job elsewhere, I guess.