Um. You had me until.. oh hell no.

Thanks to Ben for sending this to me:

For posterity sake:

I have a bedroom (12 x 14ft) available starting on June 1st (1 year lease) for a male or female roommate. My previous roommate just moved out since his work (for the federal government) took him to another city. We’ll be sharing a bathroom, kitchen, and living room. The apartment is spacious and well lit by natural light.

A little about myself:

I work at the Department of Defense as a researcher and I’m also pursuing a Master’s Degree at Georgetown. I really enjoy reading, hiking, playing kickball with my friends, and drinking good beer :) I go out a lot on the weekends but once in a while I stay home and just watch a movie. If you’re interested please contact me by email and tell me a little about yourself.

One more thing, please read this so we don’t waste each others’ time! On our bathroom door is a checklist. I like to keep a record of my bowel movements and I expect you to do the same. It’s a just a simple checklist with each day of the month, simply place a check on the day if you have a bowel movement. It’s no big deal and you needn’t worry about replacing the list, I’ll take care of everything. Hope to hear from you!