I’ve been getting e-mails from people who think I’ve gone off the deep end and am approaching a Brian Wilson degree of bummedoutness. I assure you, the things I spew out on this blog are usually whatever I’m obsessing about at the moment and usually pass by the time I
sober up wake up the next morning. Sadly, there will be no Pet Sounds emerging from my bedroom anytime soon.
On another note, I licked the newly bald head of my friend Randy the other night.
I was talking with Gina during lunch the other day, and she remarked that I may be going through some sort of depression. I’ve been thinking more and more lately that she may be right. I’m not all Brian Wilson depressed; locking myself in a room, crying and listing to the cure or anything like that. But I have noticed that I’ve been especially sensitive and irritable lately. Dan will do or say something and I immediately get defensive – usually in some internal dialogue between myself and an Imaginary Dan. Them a few hours later, I think to myself.. “self, why did that upset me?” Plus there’s the whole lack of motivation and resistance to sleep that I’ve had the last few years. For instance, the house will get to be a total mess, even for my standards, and it just doesn’t really bother me anymore. I’d rather watch TV or surf the net than.. well, pretty much do anything. School defintaly helps break up the monotony, but I can barely work up enough gumption to open the book when I’m not in class. I thank $DIETY that I’m going to delghetto, where the bar is set pretty low. Not that I think I’m not smart enough to handle a “real” school – I just don’t think I’d be putting in the time.
Ah well, here’s to hoping it’s just a phase I’m going though – I can’t really afford to seek a professional. :(