Run away!! Run away!!

I woke up Saturday morning to the booming sound of my friend Christopher’s voice on my cell phone: “GET THE FUCK OUT!”

After watching the Weather Channel for a few minutes, learning that Katrina was a Category 5 Huricane and remembering that Broadmoor, the subdivision I live in, is the lowest area of New Orleans (or, as my friend Marshall puts it The Deep End of the Pool I decided to call around to see if I could tag along with anyone in an attempt to get the fuck out of dodge. Long story short: Marshall, Carlos, Plato, Lydia and I have evacuated to Montgomery, Alabama and are staying with Carlos’ parents in his sister’s gay ex-husband’s semi-abandoned for-sale house. Yes, it confuses me as well. Fabulous house though.

The kitties did excellent in the car; Nary a peep out of either of them for the entire FOURTEEN HOUR DRIVE. I’m so proud of them. We stopped along the way twice, once to pee on the side of the road after no peeing for eight hours, once to to get a burger at McDonalds after not eating for ten hours.

What’s grosser than gross? Being told that Marshall “had to pee a couple of other times as well, but luckily he had a couple of empty water bottles in the car with him.”

What’s grosser than that? Seeing him pour out said water bottles in the parking lot of McDonalds.

So anyway, I’m in a Mongomery public library using the net, resisting the urge to look up porn, but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. I have a feeling we arn’t going to be coming home for a few days, so I’ll have to make do.

A few friends of mine stayed home.. I hope they’re OK. All the cell phones are going crazy and it takes forever to get through to anyone, if you get through at all. So, anyway, if I haven’t been able to get through to you I wanted to let you know I’m ok and hope you guys are as well. Seeing stories like this really make me nervous.

Well, I lost Marshall and Carlos in the library, they were supposed to be in the computer lab, but they’re not, so I better go look for them before they leave me here. :)

Good luck!

Move bitch! Get out the way!

I have to vent. I was riding to work today when a car pulls into the far right lane (with me) and stops about a block in front of me to let the passengers out (I think they were being dropped off at school.) Two girls get out on the passenger side, one gets out the driver’s side. The two passenger side girls walk and stand in between two parked cars and wait for their friend. Their friend walks around the back of the car looks at me and stops behind the passenger side taillight. Leaving me about 3 feet of space on the side of the car.

“Ok” I think as I approach, “She’s waiting for me to pass.”

I drop speed and go between their car and the parked cars… just as she finds her cell phone in her purse and steps right in front of me.

I had about a nanosecond to brake so I wound up careening off of her as I swerve and body slide across the side of the parked car. (No damage to the car, I checked.)

Looking back I know I should have just stopped and waited for them… and I would have if she hadn’t made eye contact and looked like she didn’t see me.

The thing that pissed me off was that she didn’t even look up at me the entire time. Not once. Not after I sucked it up and appologized. Not even afterwards when I said “Some sort of acknowledgement would be nice.” Just nothing!

I get that all the time. People crossing the corner just as I get in the middle of the cross street and am headed straight for them. I mean, I can brake in time, but still… I am travelling at 15-20mph – you’d think they’d say to themselves “if I start walking now, I’m going to be in that guy’s way. Maybe I’ll wait 10 seconds… or maybe I’ll walk fast.”

I see that “I’m too cool to pay attention to my surroundings” look a lot.

Can you hear me now?

The Verizon Guy can’t hear you now, so stop asking. He has a brain tumor that is close to his right ear:

Ironically, the tumor has put pressure on his auditory nerve and he is now unable to hear the reply when he asks “Can you hear me now?” Only a flashing light on the side of the cell phone lets him know a connection has been made and he can move a step to the left. From: bbspot.

Ok, so that was a joke. But anyway… the point of this post is to bring to light an observation I have just made while looking at cell phone deals. My name is Vincent and I am inexplicably attracted to Cellular Spokesmen. I’m adding the dad from the new Sprint Commercials to my list of Famous People I Can Boink With Permission From My Boyfriend.


We’re off to see the wizard…

Let’s see, a quick recap of the past three days:

I was supposed to meet Julie at 6:30 to see Some Like It Hot at the Saenger Theater. (The Saenger is showing three classic movies this weekend; Some Like it Hot on Friday, The Wizard of Oz on Saturday and Gone With The Wind today.)

I was trying to decide whether or not I had time to rush home, take a shower, change clothes and make it back downtown in time to meet her. My decision was made for me when I went to the ATM to get money and realised I had left my ATM card at home. In my wallet. With my ID. Since I was going to be meeting Dan and Kasey at 360 after the movie, I’d need my ID to get in – oh yeah, I’d also be driving to Algiers that night to see Stanton Moore at Old Point Bar. To make a long story short (too late) I ended up driving through a Brake Tag Road Block and made it through the other side with two tickets. One of which for no brake tag, the other for driving without a license. It’s just so hard being me sometimes. :)

So anyway, after the movie (it was so funny! I forgot how much I like Jack Lemmon – even in drag.) Julie brought me home and I came back downtown just in time to leave from 360 to make our way across the ferry to Algiers.

Dan bailed on us because he had work Saturday morning.

So now Kasey, her friends Byron and Matthew and I all pile in my poor little CRX and truck our little selves on over to the ferry. It was pretty uneventful throughout the show. Stanton was awesome – a fun time was had by all. After the show we decided to cut through the neighborhood instead of following the levee all the way back to he car. As it turned out, this was a mistake. We wandered around Algiers pretty aimlessly until a nice policeman stopped us, asked us where we were going and promptly gave us a lift back to the car. He mentioned in passing that:

“This is a nice neighborhood, but there’s a dangerous element that comes out at night. One more block and y’all would have been in the belly of the beast.”

So that was the first time I had ever been in the back of a police car, and it was actually a welcome experience.

That was it for Friday. I’m sure there’s more but it’s all kind of foggy now. I have to stop mixing vodka with cider, it’s just not good for me.

I finally woke up for good at 2pm. I had made several failed attempts beforehand, but the vodka and cider wasn’t about to let me off that easy. I scrambled for phone calls throughout the day, trying to figure out who was going to Wizard of Oz, how I was getting there and who had my tickets. (Did I mention the tickets for these movies were only 75 cents? Cool, eh?)

The Wizard of Oz was much cooler on the big screen than on the TVs on which I had seen it in the past. It’s not every day I get the change to see the Lollypop Guild guys 4 feet tall and in all their freaky glory. It was also kind of cool to have an entire packed house cheer for Toto when he escaped Mrs. Gulch’s basket in the first half of the movie. Afterward the show we all went to Deja Vu for grub. I ate entirely too much and forgot my cell phone in the theater. Yay!

I’ve only been awake for an hour and a half – so I’ll have to get back to you on this. Dan and Kasey went to Gone With The Wind and I stayed home since I’ve seen it a few times already and I’m just too tired.