Report blasts FEMA deals

Washington | FEMA exposed taxpayers to significant waste – and possibly violated federal law – by awarding $3.6 billion worth of Hurricane Katrina contracts to companies with poor credit histories and bad paperwork, investigators say.

This confirms what we already knew about FEMA — there was a staggering level of incompetence, and the victims of Katrina, as well as taxpayers, are taking it on the chin,” Sen. Byron Dorgan, D-N.D., who requested the audit, said Monday.From TIME Magazine: (AP news)

The continuous barrage of news like that this makes me want to pack my bags and leave this slimy, corrupt shithole. I know there’s corruption in all areas of government and no matter where we live… but at least other cities function despite the corruption. At least they try to hide it behind functional public transit, clean streets and pretty buildings.

I bet other places, people also don’t have tourists throw up on the wheel of their bike while they’re in A&P, buying an apple.

Hermaphroditic deer with seven legs ‘tasty’

Wisconsin hunter bags odd beast with pickup in driveway, eats it

Rick Lisko hunts deer with a bow but got his most unusual one driving his truck down his mile-long driveway. The young buck had nub antlers — and seven legs. Lisko said it also had both male and female reproductive organs. “It was definitely a freak of nature,” Lisko said. “I guess it’s a real rarity.”

…and people think me sucking a dick is gross. This dude ate fucking spider-deer roadkill.

My Boil Runneth Over

I wanted to get this out in the open, in case anyone is looking for the magic boil remedy online like I was. I did searches for every combination of the words boil, lesion, abscess, lance, doctor, home, remedy and drain I could think of. Between Wednesday and Friday afternoon I had put everything from onions and garlic to epson salt on the fucker and nothing did anything except make my apartment smell like the kitchen at Mona’s. Campho Phenique did make it open within 2 or three hours, but then I had a painful opening on my back with a quarter of an inch of fatty, thick pus sticking out and oozing randomly through my bandages and shirts.

To you, weary boil covered web-traveler looking for a potion to seal your sore I say this: stop trying to be a hippy and go to the fucking hospital.

I walked in the exam room at Ocshner Hospital, took off my shirt and the cute nurse-man said “Oh my, that’s gonna hurt when I tear that bandage off that hairy back.” I agreed and took a deep breath. RRRRPP. The bandage came off, pulling some hair I’m sure. I glance back and saw him staring at Mount Pusuvious on my back.

Nurse-Man: Oh.
Me: Is that a good “oh” or a bad “oh”?
Nurse-Man: … the doctor will see you in a moment.

A few minutes later the doctor walks in and looks at the third head on my back and says:

Doc: Oh. Do you have anyone that can pick you up in a little while? I’d like to get an IV in you for this.
Vincent: Wha? Um, no. I left work early to come here, no one I know is awake. Can we do it without the IV?
Doc: I guess, it shouldn’t be so bad. I can give you a local.
Vincent: Whew. Ok.

I laid down on my side and after a minute or two it dawns on me what “a local” means.

Vincent: Are you going to stick needles into it?
Doc: Well, if I’m going to get it numb enough to make an incision I will have to.

Here’s where I started to sweat.

All in all it wasn’t so bad. A few pricks all around until I went numb, the hole was opened and drained, the hole was cleaned and packed… it was like an average night for me at Rawhide actually.

That was Sunday morning. I went in this afternoon to get the packing removed and checked by a new, female doctor who was very funny.. she had me laughing the whole time she was causing me pain and discomfort. My favorite part was when she saw the DUCT TAPE that the above Doc used to put my bandage on with. She tugs at the corner and says something about not knowing how she’s going to get it off…. except midway through the sentence she RIPS the tape off, taking off a good chunk of hair (I feel it.. it’s weird.) I scream, of course and ask her if she can give me a shot of whiskey and a bullet to bite on for the next two pieces… in one quick move she sticks a tongue depressor between my teeth and YANKS the other piece off. I was laughing though all those tears, I promise.

She said it was looking pretty good for a hole in my back, but needed to be packed again since it was still draining… I can remove it myself this time and start taking warm salt baths tomorrow.

She used paper tape.

Cute Boys Rule

Spent some time with a new friend last night and this morning before he went home to New York this afternoon. Sucks to see him go, but I’m certainly glad we got to hang out. I showed him around the breeches and some of what happened to the city during the storm. Kind of a weird “date” but oh well.. it’s post Katrina… these are weird times. I got his e-mail and he said he may be coming back in April – not to mention I may be going to D.C./New York sometime in the near future. It’d be fun to have him show me around the Big Apple a bit.

Also I got some new toys with my FEMA money. Things I’ve been wanting forever, but never had the gumption or the resources to get. I got a 30gig iPod video (yes, I put porn on it.. what other video do I have on my hard drive? I’m thinking of ripping Grey Gardens to carry around with me. lol)

I also got a Holga medium format camera. I’ve been wanting one for a while and decided that $20 isn’t so much for something that can make me happy. I’m also getting a Nikon F3 and finally getting my dad’s Minolta SRT100 fixed.

I feel bitten by the photography bug again. Thank you Katrina.