Welcome to New Orleans, Now Please Go Home.

OMG. You’d think it cost a million dollars to ride the streetcar the way people are packing themselves into the canal streetcar line this weekend. I swear, the car was moving for about 3 feet with the door open because so many people were crammed into the car. Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t normally get all worked up over the whole streetcar/bus debate, as I love the streetcar, but I think the city should throw up the bus when they decide to do one of these masturbatory tourist “events” so that the rest of us that just want to go the hell home don’t have to deal with hour long waits and tourist bullshit:

Moron Tourist: So, where is the St. Charles line?
Me: It runs down St. Charles and then down Carrolton.
Moron Tourist: So, then where am I?
Me: On Carrolton and Claiborne.
Moron Tourist: What’s around there?
Me: An abandoned supermarket, a Burger King, a gas station that closed down two years ago and probably a few drug dealers waiting for the Kenner Loop line..
Moron Tourist: Is there anything to do there?
Me: Buy drugs?
Moron Tourist: Oh my. Why would people want to ride all the way down there?
Me: Because they live there. The streetcar is actually our public transportation. That is, when it’s not filled with tourists and sorority girls who are normally too afraid to go board them, but now that it’s free for a couple days they all want to see how the “other people live.” (I actually made the little bunny ears with my fingers.)
Moron Tourist: Well, there’s a lot of people in town.
Me: There’s always a lot of people in town, but the street car is usually not nearly this crowded.
Sorority Girl: Yes but it’s like, free today! I just wanted to see where it went!

I had to wait for over an hour for a car to come by that wasn’t packed like a sardine can and even then I had to stand for most of the ride, getting shoved around by sorastitutes that kept saying how “totally cool this streetcar thing is” and how they wanted to ride it for so long to “see where it went”. Jesus Christ beyotch, it’s A DOLLAR TWENTY-FIVE to ride the thing.. Get daddy to wire you an extra fiver.

Uhg. I dunno. Perhaps I should have drank.

PS: I may be putting the BBS back up as a telnet board. I’ve been looking at various software.. I think I like MysticBBS.

Phrase of the Day

I’m not sure if there’s an official way to do this, but I’d like to request that a new phrase to be added to the english language:

Pro?test the War Slang (pr-tst th w?r)

  1. To eject part or all of the contents of the stomach through the mouth, usually in a series of involuntary spasmic movements.
  2. To vomit.


  1. Protest.


  • Drive the Porcelein Bus, Shout Dinosaurs, Hurl, Puke


  1. I think I had some bad seafood on Friday night, I was protesting the war all weekend.
  2. Jesus Christ, that’s fucking gross. I am so going to Protest.

Jews Gone Wild II

I haven’t posted anything about Jesus Christ Superstar yet…

I went to see it at the Saenger last Saturday and let’s just say it was a bit of a shock to see Sebastian Bach up there on stage as Jesus Christ – doing heavy metal screams to my favorite rock opera. I only wish he was more consistant. Bach didn’t seem like he knew exactly what his character should sing like. He’d be taking it easy one minute, over-the-top the next, jazz-handing it after that, and then… aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! a full on fist pumping, big hair, spandex wearing metal-god scream. I guess it’s possible to have a Jesus cover all these musical genres – but Sabastian seemed all over the map to me. Trying a little too hard perhaps.

Carl Anderson (as Judas) was the only one that seemed comfortable in his part. I guess after 20+ years of playing Judas that comes with the territory. Anderson was just… wow. Amazing.

The showstopper was King Herod’s Song. Besides being the coolest song in the universe, it had vegas style flashing signs, show girls, bright lights, big steps and a top hat. Pretty cool.

Don’t get me wrong about Sabastian Bach… he did a great job. I guess it’s hard to objective when I’ve been listening to Ian Gillan sing it on the Cast Recording for the last 20 years. It was an amazing show alltogether. I’m sooooooo glad I went. Thanks for the ticket, Dan!