My X-Tube Wishlist

Anyone who knows me or has read through my blog knows my fondness for all things x-tube. Despite my love for the site, there are several things that I think really need to be improved.

NOTE: You can pretty much assume that any links in this post are going to be:
(! Unless you work at x-tube !)

  • Separation of video and photo subscriptions. Why does my subscription list have “Unsubscribe” check boxes next to both of someone’s video and their photo feeds if when I select “Unsubscribe” next to just their photos and click “apply” their video subscription is removed as well? That’s just sloppy coding.
  • Bring back animated previews of videos. I liked being able to hover over a thumbnail and see random frames from throughout the video. It’s nice to see if that guy in the suit suddenly becomes naked after he gets fluffed or that “suit” in the title refers to a guy dressed like a hedgehog. (Hey, that’s not the kind of suits that I’m searching for!)
  • Speaking of freaky fetishes, I want filters. These would be used kind of like the opposite of subscriptions in that I would like to define keywords that i never want to see again.

    My top ten, in no particular order:

    1. sounding
    2. farting
    3. wheelchairs
    4. spiderman
    5. Vice Grips (NEW!
    6. wolf costumes
    7. sounding
    8. rain gear
    9. rosebuds
    10. vaginas

    I swear, one day I’m going to see someone dressed as Scooby Doo farting on a woman in a wheelchair wearing a raincoat sticking a metal rod in the penis of some dude dressed as Spiderman with his asshole turned inside out and I’m never going to touch myself again.

  • Chronological listing of subscriptions. The only reason I subscribe to people is so that I’ll know when they upload something new. Why does x-tube still make me scroll through 4 pages of videos from 3 years ago just to find the one new video that’s been posted? I’m already 20 minutes late for work, don’t make me hunt this shit down.
  • Let me view more than 10 pages of new videos. I never did understand this one — I’m a freaking porn addict and I can’t keep up with them all sometimes. I hate getting to that 10th page, knowing there’s more I haven’t seen since I last logged in but for some reason they wont let me go any further.. I’ve even tried changing the 10 to an 11 in the URL, hoping that I’ll find some hidden backdoor to more porn — the brown starfish of blue movies, if you will. But that doesn’t work. No means no.

If I think of anything else I’ll add them. What are some of your gripes about your favorite sites?


This Explains It All – Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax

I’ve seen this ‘banned’ version of the “Relax” video a million times but never really watched it.

I absolutely had to have seen it when I was an impressionable 12 year old queerling, as it would explain a LOT. Am I alone in thinking Holly Johnson is totally cute in this thing?? in the suit… and the gays ripping his clothes off… and him riding the leather-daddy at the end?

Holy crap, I think it made me gay.

I need to excuse myself.

Click here for annoying animated GIF